Pinterest - where feelings go to thrive

If you have not hit up Pinterest for some food ideas please allow me to ask WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

Yes, I am yelling at you. 

Look. I get it. Pinterest can be weird and people don't get it, etc. etc. Let's be honest, it's another place on the Internets to waste time as if anyone has an overabundance of "time."

Regardless, like all other things on the World Wides, it's incredibly useful for a laugh, a fashion inspiration and naked men. Wait? What?  

Ok fine. I am SLIGHTLY obsessed with Alex O'Loughlin. Don't care about his acting it's... just... well here.

See? I mean. HONESTLY you have eyes right? 

What was I talking about? Oh Pinterest and it's usefulness. 

The recipes. THE PHOTOS. Look, you all see the photos I take - iPhone, no flash, ugly counters, unappetizing, etc. But FEAST on this:

 

I KNOW. I made Barbacoa tacos for the Heels / Kansas game this past weekend (pour one out for K. Marsh - Pa5s First) and holy Christ knockers it was delicious.

I made the recipe almost to the letter (please see the Adobo note). You can find that HERE. 

A couple of notes: 

1) A can of chipotle peppers has more than 4 peppers. Quite a few more actually. I wound up upending the entire contents into my food processor - including the additional 4 - 5 peppers. I would recommend counting out the peppers you need, pulling out the peppers you don't need and then add the remaining sauce. Why? Extra peppers = FUEGO. 

2) Brisket isn't as cheap as we thought it was. 5 lbs costs about $40 - which if you're feeding an army is great. But don't think it's a cheaper cut of meat like I did. 

3) Get two cilantro bunches. When my husband came home with our requisite cilantro bunch, I thought he munched on it in the car. They're getting smaller. Get two. 

4) Cloves will take over your whole dish so measure carefully. Seriously cloves get in there and are all THIS IS MY HOUSE NOW.

Don't be afraid to halve it if you're not a fan of Christmas...er, cloves.

5) Buy the authentic corn tortillas - they're smaller, softer and tastier. Trust me on this. 

6) Lastly, warm it over night if you can. My husband totally blew me off on this (GOD HUSBAND) but she's right. Keeping it on low or warm (I would have used Buffet) overnight not only softens the meat but lets the flavors meld. 

Due to our inability to lure our friends over for yummy tacos, our leftovers sat until the next day when we invited over a family friend with two very hungry fresh-from-lacrosse girls.

There's nothing I hate more than a microwaved meal. Blech. And knowing that the over-abundance of adobo was a bit overwhelming, I added some tomato pastes to a hot pan with a bit of the fat. MMMMM fat. The paste toned down the FUEGO without watering down the flavor - something I do all the time. 

Look. This is NOT a Taco Hell taco. Please don't add a shit ton of sour cream or cheese to these. You don't need it. All you need is some chopped onions, cilantro and lime wedges. MAYBE some pico. MAYBE. 

Voila! Nothing like feeding a bunch of people in set-it-and-forget-it mode. I wonder if I could get away with this at Thanksgiving and Christmas?

 

Part #2: Money Minestrone

Since I don't need to go on about my love for soup - you can find that here -  I am going to jump into the joy of FINALLY getting a minestrone recipe down right delicious. 


A couple years ago a good friend had twins  - beautiful delightful twins that cried. A lot. 
We put together a Take them a Meal and I made magic minestrone soup. Everything but the squash was fresh. Annoying as it was a little soggy - but I put it in old school mason jars and tied a jaunty ribbon around it. 


Jaunty! Fresh (mostly)! Delicious! 


My friend was overjoyed. They loved it. Still talk about it to this day. I shared the recipe with them. It became HER go to new-mom meal. And then I lost the recipe. Poof. Gone. Guys, I LOVED this recipe. It was the essence of minestrone. The delight of it all. And then... nothing. My friend's moved away. Two toddlers later she can't remember where she put her recipe. 


I couldn't find another recipe to save my life. All other recipes were just... meh. And oh I tried. OMG how I tried. Or cried? Damn you 4 Non-Blonds. 


So this past weekend. I found one. All yelling at me from All Recipes. If you're not on All-Recipes, then I don't even want to know you. I get better ideas from the comments than I do from the recipes and pretty pictures. Also the ratings are ACCURATE. None of the Food Network BS like... but it's hard to chop onions. Bitch please. TRY AN ARTICHOKE. 


Wait what? Oh right the recipe. 


So it starts with: 
INGREDIENTS:

3 tablespoons olive oil 3 cloves garlic, chopped 2 onions, chopped 2 cups chopped celery 5 carrots, sliced 2 cups chicken broth 2 cups water 4 cups tomato sauce 1/2 cup red wine (optional) 1 cup canned kidney beans, drained

1 (15 ounce) can green beans 2 cups baby spinach, rinsed 3 zucchinis, quartered and sliced 1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano 2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil salt and pepper to taste 1/2 cup seashell pasta 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese for topping 1 tablespoon olive oil

Aaaaaaand here's what I changed. 


What? Of course I changed shit! 


I subbed some leftover pasta sauce for tomato sauce. It has all the right spices and thickness properties so I went with that. I didn't have baby spinach but I am sure it's delicious in the soup.


WHO USES SEASHELLS IN MINESTRONE?! Obvs, I used Ditalini. And again - NOODLES. SEPARATE. I think I made the whole box or most of it. 


I did not use canned green beans. Horrifying. And let me just go on the record that you should never use canned green beans for anything ever. Not the damn casserole at Thanksgiving (which is disgusting by the way), not in a salad, not in soups NEVER. Unless you've crashed on the side of the Andes and have nothing but people and canned green beans to eat - eat the beans first. Unless you have a grill. Kidding. I kid. 


Anyway, I used FRESH green beans. If you're not a green bean fan, I bet asparagus would be yummy. But I like FRESH green beans. This is great kid/spouse help as you can volunteer them to trim the beans. 


Also on the record? Red wine is never optional. 


I also used those little tubes of "fresh herbs". Blog right. 


I hate wasting fresh herbs when they're a) so expensive and b) go to shit in 2 hrs. 
This little tube gave me some great flavor and I've been able to use it in some other recipes. I would NOT recommend this for pesto. You need the real deal for that - 


I did buy oregano which I then freeze dried and chopped up. Oregano is a fairly hearty little leaf and it held up to some basic freeze drying. I will update you on how that works in future recipes. I know - you're waiting with baited breath. 

Here are the how to's: 
DIRECTIONS:

1.	In a large stock pot, over medium-low heat, heat olive oil and saute garlic for 2 to 3 minutes. Add onion and saute for 4 to 5 minutes. Add celery and carrots, saute for 1 to 2 minutes.
2.	Add chicken broth, water and tomato sauce, bring to boil, stirring frequently. If desired add red wine at this point. Reduce heat to low and add kidney beans, green beans, spinach leaves, zucchini, oregano, basil, salt and pepper. Simmer for 30 to 40 minutes, the longer the better.
3.	Fill a medium saucepan with water and bring to a boil. Add macaroni and cook until tender. Drain water and set aside.
4.	Once pasta is cooked and soup is heated through place 2 tablespoons cooked pasta into individual serving bowls. Ladle soup on top of pasta and sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Spray with olive oil and serve.

Aaaaand here's what I did differently. I have a history of burning garlic. I don't like to talk about it. But once upon a time I used to RUIN meals with burnt garlic. Because it's disgusting and a horrific abuse of the most delicious spice? vegetable? root? ever. Therefore, I never put garlic in before onions. On that note, carrots take longer to cook. I have also burned carrots. That does not make for delicious soup either. Carrots in the pot first, then onions, then the garlic. Keep it moving or else it sticks and burns. Here's the other thing: I put everything else in to sauté for a couple minutes and "deglazed" the pan with the red wine before adding all my liquids. Whether or not this is true, I think the flavors come together when you stir everything up before adding the liquid. Whatever. Maybe I am nuts. Don't answer that. 


Oh and the spinach that I didn't have? That would go in either at the saute stage (word of the day: sauté SHANTÈ!)

Here's my finished product - still in the Dutch oven. I have an incredibly ugly kitchen so I have cropped most of the stove, etc. Clearly, I did not take the photo before I dove but I remembered before packing everything up to put away. 




The p pièce de résistance for this soup is the cheese. Oh glorious parmigiano reggiano. I choose poorly and went with a microplane. Nope. Get a box grater for the perfect thickness. And for the love of God and all that is holy DO NOT GET KRAFT IN A CLEAR PLASTIC JAR.
DO. NOT.


I will come to your house and kill you. This soup deserves the nutty yumminess of REAL parm. At least go to the case with the "fancy" cheeses and get the real thing already grated. Most grocery stores have smaller portions already grated for your parm purchasing pleasure. 


Finally, once you have assembled your soup, lovingly placed perfectly shredded cheese to garnish, perhaps added some freshly ground pepper I urge you to take some olive oil and pour about 1/2 a tsp over the cheese. Just a touch. This? This will make the soup perfect when mixed with the melty cheese and pepper. Creamy. Rich. Perfection. 

Soup: A love story part #1

I am obsessed with soup. My dad used to make the little Lipton packets when I was a kid. He would chop up potatoes and put them in and make just a perfect mug of soup. Of course, I didn't know shit about sodium or bloat at that time. 

When I moved away, I could never get the Lipton ratio right. It was either too watery and tasted like... water. Or it was too thick and mushy. Blech. For awhile, I thought "I will have canned soup! How can that not be delicious!? Look at the picture!" 

I mean their most TENDER CHICKEN! What it should say is "soggy vegetables! with chunks of mystery white meat and enough sodium to float the Titanic! WHEEEEE!" 

OK. I shouldn't pick on Progresso. Surely they are lovely and trying to put out a product that's easy and efficient for people who don't have time or the inclination to make soup. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. 

Homemade Chicken Noodle

This. Is. Soup. (to be read in the 300 tone of voice)


Complete with homemade chicken stock, fresh parsnips, lemon juice and chopped parsley for color. Suck on that Progresso. Actually don't. Unless you plan on paying me a lot of money for it. In that case CALL ME. 

I bastardized Rachel Ray's Chicken Stoup. You would think that woman is Cuban what with the making up of the words - but still this is a keeper. You can follow the link right? Because copying and pasting is effing with my formatting and I don't feel like dealing with it.

Bastardization techniques (some more bastardly than others - oh shut up spell-check it's totally a word): 

Use regular olive oil. It's delicious and withstands heat MUCH better. 

I add garlic, a couple minced cloves. Because you can't have celery, carrots and onions and not garlic. That's just wrong on about 100 levels. 


Make your own chicken stock and save it. It freezes really well. Use muffin tins for a realistic stock "cube" and use Chinese takeout containers for storage in the fridge. They're awesome and if something happens, you have no qualms throwing them away.  

Chicken Stock:

In a stock pot put:
Chicken bones
Celery
Onion
Garlic Cloves
Carrots 


Cover with water
Boil
Skim the fat

Simmer
Skim the fat


Repeat until your house smells amazing, everyone's dog is panting at your door and you're tired of trying to get fat out of water. You can go as long as 8 hrs or as short as 2. Remember the longer it simmers the more flavor you get so hold out! 

Don't add water. Really? WATER? No. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Add the 6 cups of stock PLUS 2-3 cups of water mixed with... OK this is my secret weapon. The greatest most delicious piece of cooking advice ever...




Yep. Sazon Goya. It just has everything and you have to add it to everything. Sazon will give your the soup the perfect golden color, the perfect blend of seasoning and that je ne sais quoi. Your local grocery store should carry it. If they don't, find the nearest employee and demand to know why they would rob their customers of flavor and joy by NOT carrying this beloved item. They love that. Oh and try Wal-Mart. Send me hate mail about their employment practices later.


Season the chicken tenders beforehand and do a quick turn in a skillet. Easier to cut and less icky feeling when dropping into your glorious smelling soup. The Hubs and I love to cook whole chickens (hence always having chicken bones to make stock) so if there's leftover chicken shred it and add it to the pot. Or better? Get some rotisserie chicken ALREADY COOKED (WHAT? THAT'S CRAZY!), shred that shit and you guessed it, add it to the pan.


Add the herbs to each individual bowl of soup rather than throwing them into the boiling pot or better yet put it on the side. I love adding a ton of herbs to flavor my soup. Some people don't. AHEM ... HUSBAND.


Lemon/lime juice. The bringer of all flavors. If you have fresh limes or lemons, cut wedges and add at will! Bottled works too. Add a tsp to the bottom of the bowl before anything else so it mixes well with the rest of the soup.

Finally, and this is imperative for all soups, MAKE THE NOODLES SEPARATELY. There is nothing worse than giant broth sucking noodles in your soup the next day.  You end up with a big pile of soupy mush. Do you like soupy mush? Neither do I. Cook your noodles up like you would any other pasta and drop a couple tablespoons at the bottom of the bowl. Hell make the noodles the day before and refrigerate them. They're noodles; they're not going to go bad.


At long last, bask in the knowledge that your chicken noodle will be legend (WAIT FOR IT)........ DARY. It will cure colds, soothe tummies and make you feel good about the fact the you just rocked out some bad-ass grandma style soup.

Spin Cycle Through Hell

So normally I write about food. And by normally I mean when my lazy ass gets around to it. But let me switch to the other side of food - burning it off. 

And now... an hour of my life broken down for you. 

6:54P: Sign in and realize I have nothing to help me avoid other people. Go out to car to get phone.

6:58P: Ushered into a tiny room filled with deconstructed bikes after looking incredibly important for 4 min

6:59P: I have to put together my own equipment?! Gold's doesn't make me do that! 

7:02P: Hardest. Seat. Ever. 

7:03P: Loud music. Instructor shouts something about hills and sprints and being on her leg. Confusion.

7:10P: Why does she keep yelling out numbers?

7:15P: Oh sitting = weak.

7:16P: Fuck. I have only been doing this for 15 min.

7:18P: That clock is slow.

7:20P: I will never need a colonoscopy. Thanks incredibly hard and horribly positioned bike seat!

7:21: Who chooses this music? Why is it so loud? Why am I so old? 

7:26P: Check woman next to me. Hello blond woman less than 6 inches from my face. 

7:26:02: Thank God she's sitting down. 

7:32P: Bored. LA LA LA LA. Pedaling. LA LA LA. Oh I guess I can sit to recover. 

7:40P: Wait is this supposed to be HARDER or easier? 

7:45P: Girl in front of me needs a sandwich. Girl next to her needs a rack of ribs and a milkshake. 

7:50P: THANK JESUS are we going to cool down... oh GUESS NOT. 

8:02P: Oh I need to take the bike APART again? UNION! 

Outstanding questions: 

1) I rode a bike for an hour today and never actually went anywhere. What kind of sadistic insane shit is that?

2) Why do we sit so close to each other? Sharon (aka blond woman six inches from my face) is lovely. If we're feeling an impromptu lesbian moment, well then, we're all set what with her being in my MOLARS. 

3) The instructor would occasionally yell out "TRAVEL!" What? Who? Travel WHERE? I am bolted to pedals in a hot room. 

4) Why are we shimmying? I AM PEDALING FURIOUSLY. 

Needless to say, I don't know if spinning is my thing. I am a runner. Not a great runner. Not a fast runner. But a runner. And while I am sure that I burned a shit ton of calories (thank Jeebus), I don't feel like I accomplished something. At the end of this class, I felt sweaty and gross and in the same place I started. 

In FULL DISCLOSURE, I have been trying to get into the BASICS class for WEEKS now - which I am sure is the majority of the source of my frustration. I HATE not knowing what's going on. Also, I hate losing. And being bad at stuff. And being off beat. 

What? I AM TYPE A DAMMIT. 

So yeah. Basics class. Then a full-spin rundown. 

You can TOTALLY go home again... to eat.

Nothing says "happy happy joy joy" to me like homemade Cuban food. And look, I love me some North Carolina but there is no comparison to Little Havana cooks. Abuelitas that have spent their entire lives perfecting piccadillo and frijoles negros, grandfather's teaching their grandsons exactly how to prepare a pig for la caja china, aunts who can time a tostone to perfection and teeny window bakeries serving thimbles of Cuban crack and pastelitos made of guava. 


I landed in Fort Lauderdale just in time for a ginormous sushi lunch @ Sakura in Coral Springs. Don't worry - I'll get to the Cuban in a minute. 

That boat? Yeah it's for TWO people. There were three of us. And still sashimi remained. Florida is a cesspool of humanity but damn if that seafood isn't incredibly fresh and delicious. 


Immediately after lunch my father asked, "So ... Cuban food tonight?"
This plantain did not fall from the tree folks. 

Speaking of plantains....

BAM

Guys, I almost cried. That right there is a plateful of Cuban love. Well... 3 platefuls. Moros, Lechon and Tostones. Or dinner as they call it at Romeu's Cuban Restaurant in Pembroke Pines. The place is run by a bunch of old school Cubans who still use a loudspeaker from the kitchen to call the managers or servers attention. You eat dinner to the sound of "Angelo... se acabo la fricasse" or "Marta.... Marta...Marta."  My family and I crack up every time someone comes over the loudspeaker. And that happens about every 5 minutes. We laugh a lot. 


Oh right... dinner. So here's what you see: 


1) Moros - short for Moros y Christianos - is directly translated as Muslisms & Christians. Actually, the racist version is Coloreds & Christians but I digress. Ya'll that shit is HARD to make at home. You need to add the right amount of liquid for the beans and rice to soften and absorb BUT not so much that you end up with a big pile of flavorless, wet mush. And that is NOT a plate of Cuban love but of Cuban fail. Which I have done about a million times. 


2) Lechon Asada - pork roasted to yummy garlicky perfection. Honestly, I haven't tried to make this in a while and frankly, it should be left to the experts. Tender, pull apart, flavorful deliciousness covered in mojo. What's mojo you ask? It's the perfect combination of garlic, olive oil and citrus juice. Cubans traditionally use naranja agria or sour orange. Because it's a fruit native to Cuba and pretty much smuggled to Miami, you can't find it anywhere outside of FL. What? We're classy with the smuggling of plants!
There's a combination of lemons to limes that mimic the flavor pretty closely if you're tempted to try it at home, use this 3 Guys from Miami recipe.


3) Tostones - fried plantains. Not to be confused with maduros which are fried sweet plantains. These are giant, delicious Frisbees of carbs and salt. My grandmother used to smash the plantain slices down with glass bottles to get the shape right. Now they have all the plantain flatteners you would ever need. I have a feeling these were made the old-fashioned way with elbow grease and a huge glass bottle. The trick to these is keeping the oil hot so they fry crispy rather than absorbing the oil. If you don't have a deep fryer (which I don't and no one in my family ever has), it's a delicate dance between dropping them in, flipping them over, adding new ones and monitoring the heat. I am terrified of hot oil splatter so CLEARLY I haven't even attempted to make these. But oh sweet lord are they amazingly delicious. 


I ate about 1/3 of that meal, saving the majority of the pork and moros for lunch the next day. Honestly, the majority of it is still in my parent's fridge. 


Equally delicious but somewhat horrifying? 

That's my brother's dinner. 
Deep-fried flank steak (he's holding HALF), rice, beans and tostones. 


I gained 5lbs just taking this picture. 


LOOK AWAY BEFORE YOUR JEANS DON'T FIT. 

Things that make me SQUEEEEE!

As in the Farmers Market. Yesterday was the perfect day for my Craig to yank my ass out of bed at 8am, pour coffee down my throat and shove me into the car. I know it SOUNDS awful, but guys look at these:

Are these not the most gorgeous beets ever? And for $2? YES PLEASE!

Antioxidants anyone?

I have to be honest here and say that I kinda ruined these beauties. I didn't roast them long enough and well, they came out crunchy. So meh on that. However, I think shredding them and putting them on a salad might be interesting. Not that this is news to anyone but USE GLOVES. My fingertips still have that purple hue 12 hours later.









Can I get a what what for strawberry season?! MMMMMmmmmm.....

Oh what a sacrifice (sarcasm font to be used here) to try every single strawberry being proffered by perky farm teens. "Ya'll want a try a strawberry? Everyone's tastes different!" Indeed. Some were perfect, other's watery and some still hard - harvested too early.

SUGAR!!!!!!!!!! SQUEEE!

And what did I do with the yummy ripe strawberries?

Yes, it's in my fridge. What? The lighting was better!

This recipe came from Cook's Illustrated. If you don't read it I HIGHLY recommend picking one up. They're amazing at telling you HOW they get to the recipe and what inspires it. I love knowing all the ingredients and tinkering they go through before they get to Goldilocks (juuuuust right).

Here's the link: http://www.cooksillustrated.com/recipes/detail.asp?docid=27850

Sign up for the 14-Day Trial. Trust me - it's worth it. We go old school and get it on ACTUAL paper. The paintings and illustrations are gorgeous. Plus, I still like something solid that I can hold and get dirty and put notes on. A good friend gave it to Craig as a gift and frankly, I didn't even know there was a site until I looked for the link to share (BAD DIGITAL NATIVE!).

So what did I miss at your farmers market?

Charleston, SC - Want to be fat & broke? Chucktown makes it happen.

Oyster Shooters - yummy alcohol oystery goodness @ Pearlz. Yes, with a Z.

                                                                                                                                                                      The following food items are from Hominy Grill. Not pictured? Chocolate pudding, caramel cake and my internal organs begging for mercy.

Don't even remember what this is - but the Hubs got it and clearly loved it. 

Shrimp & Grits. Two things that don't seem to make sense but is a HARMONY of yummy to your palate. 

The Big Nasty. It's considered a "small plate." This is why we're fat (albeit happy) ya'll.